Just As I Am – Read Phil. 4:11

The year was 1987, and I was single, saved, and satisfied. My life was filled with work that I enjoyed, comfortable material possessions, friends that I took pleasure in being with, and a church that met my spiritual needs and gave me an opportunity for ministry expression. Life was good. No, better said, life was great! Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I became restless. My happiness seemed to diminish. What I had was no longer good enough. There was a rumbling in my heart for more. What was missing? What was the next chapter for me? What did I need to do with or add to my life?

One day, as I quieted myself before the Lord, I received the answer. Poised for God to show me the next venture, I was a bit surprised at what I heard in my heart. The Lord seemed to speak lovingly yet firmly, “You have allowed yourself to leave the place of contentment.” There it was, plain as day, nothing profound and no need for a search to find the missing link. All that was wrong was that I had allowed myself to believe that I needed something more than what God had graciously allowed in my life at the time.

I immediately took note of the fact that the Lord said, “You have allowed yourself to leave….” It was true. I had permitted other voices to speak to my current state—the voice of desire for a mate, the voice of hope for bearing children, the voice of what I thought one should accomplish by a certain age, and on and on and on. There was absolutely nothing wrong with where I was or what I had. What was wrong was that I dared to non-verbally say to God that what He had given me at that time wasn’t good enough.

It did not take long to change; after all, it was just a matter of adjusting my heart. I repented to God, turned my eyes back to reflect on His goodness in my life, and considered how many people would have gladly exchanged places with me at that moment. In that time of repentance and worship, it was as though the Father unleashed a more significant measure of gratitude into my heart than I ever had before. I found myself running back to the place of contentment, fully satisfied that what I had was what I needed. I was back, with no plans of leaving again. From that time to now, I strive to remember in whatever state I am to remain content.

Copyright © 2021. D’Ann V. Johnson